Friday, June 30, 2006

This Day

A lovely eBay seller sold me a defective camera and is now suggesting I should send it in to the manufacturer for repair. Over at Matthew 28:19 my theology was tested. In the middle of my writing the comp chose to shut down and "eat" several hours worth of work. However, on the bright side -- all three of my blogs have brand new posts today. And Christmas has been extra cuddly to help lighten my sour mood.

Thursday, June 29, 2006


A few minutes ago I realized that the King of the Coffee Table was in his customary sprawl on said piece of furniture, but baby Christams was not within range of sight or sound. A brief search revealed her napping contentedly beside the laundry hamper. She had pulled my white slk camisole to the floor and curled up on it. Beside her was her favorite sidekick, a tiny two-inch Teddy Bear. Leave it to Christams to do something really cute when there's no camera around.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Reader Response Required

As you know, I've posted a couple of comments on needing an intervention for my internet addiction (Blog Addict and Intervention Continued). Well, recently some of my cyber pals and I have been kicking around ideas about starting a Bloganon group (check out the Bloganon discussion in the comments of this post). Even though I've been discussing the idea, until this morning I was undecided about whether or not I really needed it. I awoke around 5:30 a.m PDST, which is pretty standard for me. I woke humming. That's pretty standard, too. Its what I was humming that concerns me -- I mean, I haven't even heard the song in so long I am surprised I knew enough words to identify the title: Here in the Real World, by Alan Jackson. You know, now that I've written this -- and remembered a few more words of the song, maybe living on the net is the better thing after all. What do you think? Am I in need of intervention?

Tuesday, June 27, 2006


There I was in the dairy section chatting away and letting my fingers shop with little intervention from my brain. That's how I came to bring this stuff home -- non-fat milk and corn syrup. After one bite of my fresh peaches and not half & half, I was suddenly paying attention. You see that little sticker down there that reads real? Real, what?! Oxymoron: a combination of contradictory or incongruous words; something (as a concept) that is made up of contradictory or incongruous elements

Monday, June 26, 2006

My Lil Darlings

King of the Coffee Table
Queen of Cute & All Things Food
Though one can't tell from these pics, both my babies have beautiful blue eyes. Fluffy's eyes are very light, almost silver. Chrissy's eyes are bright sky blue. Fluffy is mellow and sweet and loving -- pets and cuddles are just fine as long as they don't include picking up. He is very tollerant of the kitten. When she was smaller and got too rambunctious he would sit on her. Now he just goes wherever she cannot follow. Christmas is crippled. She was a breach baby, no bigger than my thumb and completely hairless when she was born. The vet said she wouldn't live, but she and her momma had different ideas. She wobbles when she walks, runs with a distinct list to the right and cannot jump -- well, she can jump, but she never lands where she thinks she's going to because of the bum left rear leg. She has yet to learn how to compensate. Because of that she will always be an indoor cat. She insists on being cuddled and loved on a daily basis. She follows me from room to room, and all visitors to the house must pay her prpoer homage, or suffer her indignant stare until they do.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

A Walk on the Cyberside

Everyday I take a cyber walk. There are certain places I skip right by -- and there are other places I linger. I want to tell you about some of the places I linger. I always stop by Tina's Place. Her blog isn't really geared for public entertainment. It is more of a letter to her friends. It keeps us up to date on her personal happenings. The next stop in my cyber jaunt is The Ragamuffinwriter's Place. Here my heart is always warmed as my host shares his love of both God and his family in a real, honest, and often humorous way. From there I amble to, Glimpses Intangible a place of grace, peace and beauty. This is my cyber sanctuary. Here my spirit is coddled. After leaving my cyber sanctuary I'm ready for a bit of space travel, so I stop by Quasar 9. Math and science are spoken here -- but most of the time I find the day's presentation written at novice level, so I understand just fine and even learn a little. With just two clicks of the mouse I bound out of Quasar 9 and into Controlled Chaos. Here you will find displayed some awesome nature photography, some personal experiences, and some opinions about life, politics, religion and the world in general. Finally we arrive at the final stop on my permanent cyber route. Those of you who know me well, know I love sarcasm, exaggeration, a well turned phrase and The Concept of Irony. All can be found in this blog -- and each is done exceedingly well. Our host, Justin Kahn puts on a splendid show of narcissism, but he is not too enamored with himself to poke fun at his own flukes and foibles, and invite us to join in the laughter. Each of these cyber sites has a strong commonality. They are all infused with a spirit of humor and a love of life. Take a walk on the cyber side. Follow my path or make your own. There are strange new worlds out there awaiting your discovery.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

After A While

by Veronica A. Shoffstall After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child and you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure you really are strong you really do have worth and you learn and you learn with every goodbye, you learn... myspace layouts, myspace codes, glitter graphics

Friday, June 23, 2006

3.5 Seconds

I am now greatful that some 30 plus years ago my step-mother insisted that I learn how to sit on furniture and not just plop into it. She must have known that I would one day become the adoring captive of, Christmas, the dimmest kitten on earth. Every time I vacate my computer chair, Christmas hops into it. It matters not if I am leaving for the night, a trip to the restroom, or 3.5 seconds (to grab the telephone receiver). I live in fear of running outside (say a quick trip to the mailbox) and someone there saying, "You have a bit of fir stuck to your backside," -- then they peel a flat kitten off my hinny. Now, on those trips from my chair where I actually take several steps away, Christmas is perfectly safe, because I see her as I am walking back. It is that 3.5 second lift for the phone that's going to get her killed. More than once as I've sat back down, I have squeezed an "eep" from my dim-witted Egyptian Princess. She doesn't learn.

Have a great day!

myspace layouts, myspace codes, glitter graphics

Thursday, June 22, 2006

A Touching Gift

I found this post as I was out for my morning cyberwalk. I popped into one of my favorite places and there it was. Enjoy it here, but please visit it at it's home, because it has many beautiful brothers and sisters. . One Earth To Share Child of the mountains Child of the sea One earth to share One love of He That gave us all This place to dwell In friendship, peace And harmony written by Pauline June,2006 (c) for Quilldancer .

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

And the Survey Says ...

You Are An Iris
You are a unique woman who needs a lot of novelty in her life. An inspiration seeker, you often have to change scenery to recharge. You don't deal well with structure or rules. You need to do it your own way.
I deal just fine with structure and rules -- ignoring them is a form of dealing, right?
You are a No Drama Mama!
No need for drama, you just chill out and don't let things bother you. You've got a peaceful, zen-like attitude... even when things get crazy. You're a pleasure to be around, and you have lots of friends to show for it. You don't need to be the center of attention, you're happy enough as is!
Hey, I'm Caryl's sister. There is a bit of drama in me. As for not needing to be the center of attention I have three blogs. Count'em. Three!
Your Scent is Pumpkin Pie
Warm, comforting, and a bit old fashioned. You've got what men want - believe it or not!
I have what men want? Now I'm confused ...
You Are a Classic Gucci Bag
You've got style mastered - because you stick with what works. Like this Gucci Bag, you prefer classic items that stand the test of time. You're also a bit of a practical girl, who prefers function over fluff. You prefer a big bag, so that you can have your stuff with you at all times.
Gucci? Me? Imagine that.
Your Gemstone is Amber
Creative, happy, and logical. You shine in any intellectual endeavor.
Amber? Are they trying to tell me my personality has a few bugs?

Tuna Fish Tales

My cats love me. Of course I am in the processes of eating a toasted tuna sandwich, so their devotion is suspect. My friends and I gathered at a little sandwich place a few days ago. I ordered a toasted tuna sandwich. I am certain the mistake was mine. I mean, I was smiling when I ordered, so the be-boppy little waitress probably thought that such a sweet lady would want sweet pickle relish in her tuna. Can you say, "Gag me?" So, here I am at home eating a toasted tuna/onion/dill pickle sandwich because the grumpy sour puss who cooks here (me) knows just how I like them. Yum. -> Oh look, I'm smiling again.

Exercises in Futility

The pain is back. I guess I shouldn't have turned down that summer job. It must be time for a new mattress. Sigh. I have a friend (whose name I will not sully here) who told me if I laid on my back on the floor, held my legs straight, kept my ankles together, slowly lifted my legs to a 45 degreee angle, and then, while holding that position, slowly moved my legs apart, my back would pop back into place. What said friend didn't say is that if it didn't work, it would take me the rest of the day to get up off the floor.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Please, No Deja Vu

The pain stopped just as myseriously as it came. I am going to bed now. I hope it does not return. Sweet sleepings.

This Day

This day is leaning toward sunset and I have yet to get dressed. I think over Christmas break I managed a kick-back day in my jammies, but I certainly haven't had one since -- not even today. Somehow last night, while soundly sleeping, I managed to wrench my back. Today no matter how I sit, or lay, or move, or stand there is pain. Not a horrible, "I can't stand this" pain, except in little short jabs that cause me to gasp and freeze. This pain is persistent and insistent. It is wearing me out. Awake only 12 hours and ready for bed, but lying down brings more pain, not rest.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Writing Class

I took a class today titled, "How to Teach Writing." For those of you who want to ask, "Why do you need that class when you've been published?" Let me just say that knowing how to write, and knowing how to explain writing well are two different things. Ineffective teaching: Effective teaching: -Teacher: This paragraph is wrong. -Teacher: This paragraph is missing necessary details. -Student: "Why?" -Student: "Why?" -Teacher: "Because I said so." -Teacher: "Because you haven't told me what made you fall off the bicycle. Were you just riding down the street and fell over for no reason?" -Student: No. The dog caught my pant leg. -Teacher: What dog? There's no dog in your story. -Student: "How do I fix it?" -Student: "How do I fix it?" -Teacher: "Rewrite it." -Teacher: "Rewrite it." -Student: "Gee thanks." -Student: "Gee thanks." Okay, so maybe the class wasn't that simplistic (because I'm not that dense) but most of the things the facilitator pointed out to us made me think, "Duh!" Yet despite that, duh, they were things I hadn't thought of, because they were things I didn't have to be taught. I am a good math teacher because math did not come easily to me. I know how the kids think and feel when they are confused. I know what questions to ask to figure out why they don't "get it." I know how to explain things so they do "get it." That is because I had a model for that; whereas I was always at the top of my class in writing. I was the model -- therefore I wasn't learning. This leads me to wonder -- who might I be if I had had someone to emulate? Probably still me, huh? Drat.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Brat Child Strikes Again!

Despite the fact that I in no way punished Christmas yesterday she has apparently decided to quit taking things out of my purse -- and start putting things in! I found a Kleenex, a Post-it Note too furry to ever post again, her jingle ball, and her tiny stuffed catnip bear. I wonder if she's planning a trip? Does she know she's off to the vet next week? Is she planning to run away first? Nah! She didn't pack any kibbles.

Cox Cable

Just over a week ago I had only two channels on my TV set. On July 10th, at exactly 8:00 a.m. two Cox Cable technicians arrived at my door and connected me to around 300 digital channels. Do you know what that means? It now takes me 298 times longer to figure out there is nothing on TV I want to watch.

Bobble Head

Apparently it is time to make an appoinment with my optometrist. I focus by shifting my gaze from lens to bifocal and moving myself back and forth until whatever I want to see comes into view. This needs to stop before somebody decides I'd look cute on the dashboard of their car .....

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Face Lift

Reflections of Childhood now has a fresh face. For those of you who complimented the old parchment look -- sorry. I was just to dark to work with. On the bright side, I am getting very fast at this. I did notice if you click on individual posts the old ones come up with the parchment face, so if you're going back to visit a favorite and really liked the ambience, you can click on the post link and enjoy.

One problem solved

I figured out how to create a link. I thought to myself, "I edited link codes when I personalized my links, so why can't I just steal that code and use it to make links in my posts?" Then I gave my brilliant idea a try and tada! I am brilliant aren't I? Of course I still have a problem -- I can't figure out how to get people to leave comments on my blogs. They could share their own thoughts and/or experiences on a subject and I wouldn't feel so alone in cyberspace. (Don't know how to comment? Just click on the magenta word below that says "comment." Thank you!) Oh, yeah, I also added a cyber pet! Isn't he cute? He's very tame. Feel free to play with him.

Who, me?

I came from the shower into the kitchen and I saw, on the floor beside my desk chair, a $10.00 bill. "Where did that come from?" I thought to myself and bent down to retrieve it. That is when I noticed the small cloth purse I keep my inhaler in. It was on the throw rug in front of the stove. I slowly scanned the floor. My chapstick peeked from under the edge of the washer. My favorite pen rested where linoleum met living room carpet. Nearby lay $5.00 bill with my debit card beside it. My gaze moved to the couch where my purse rested. In my purse sat a small white kitten -- looking adorable, sweet and innocent, which obviously she is not!

Intervention: continued

I don't want to say I've spent too much time at my computer this week, but last night I semi-woke, cold and shivering. I began to search for the covers I'd earlier tossed away. Why weren't they there? Slowly it dawned on me that I was searching my pillow -- fumbling for the mouse so I could scroll them back up.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Pity Party

Never mind.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Labor intensive

I had to update Matthew 28:19 again. That wonderful blue sea template wouldn't allow me to post but the first page and I wanted to add the sermon I gave in July. A good-looking blog without words is nothing but a pretty picture. So, now it's not very fancy, but it is more functional -- like me.

Blog Addict

I am beginning to wonder if I need an intervention: Item one: I was so absorbed in reading some beautiful blog poetry that I attempted to open an already open soda. Result: I'm wearing clean clothes and the laundry is in the washer. Item Two: I woke three hours ago, came straight here to read my mail -- and am still here. Item Three: My telephone, the remotes, the current novel I'm reading and the refrigerator are all within reach of the keyboard. Item Four: Fluffy (my adult cat) and Christmas (the kitten) have both been begging for my attention since I woke. Despite cuddles, loving and lavish praise they would not leave my lap. Finally, as I trekked to the bathroom (can't figure out how to get that closer to the comp), Fluffy tripped me in a race to his food dish -- empty food dish -- polished clean and shiny it is so empty -- food dish. Now the food dishes (full) are also here by the comp. Item Five: I've been wondering, if I replaced my desk chair with a recliner, could I sleep here? Never mind! I now have proof that I don't need an intervention. In the midst of typing this blog I actually stopped to mop my kitchen floor. If housework takes precidence over blogging all is well. (Could someone please remind me that when I hook up the portable washing machine I need to put the drainage hose in the sink, and not leave it hanging from the back of the machine?)

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Stolen lines

I was surfing the blogs and lifted this from Coding Slave: The Blog Q: What's the difference between software and reality? A: The installation process.

Learning curve

I don't even want to tell you how much trouble it was putting the new backgrounds on my blogs. I guess the trouble was irrelevant since I love the new look of this page, and Matthew 28:19 is pretty cool, too. I am pretty proud of myself because I've learned to edit code. Of course, I'd be even more proud if I could actually write it, but I doubt I'm teaching myself that. Especially since I still haven't figured out how to add an active link. Even with their handy-dandy instant link button I manage to foul it up. Some success ... Some failure ... Just another day in my life.

Matthew 28:19

There is much I should be doing, but instead I started ANOTHER blog today. Who knows how long I'll be able to keep them all going. I'll likely post on A Day in the Life most often, and only post on Reflections of Childhood and Matthew 28:19 once a week. That ought to be maintainable. Anyway, to see my new blog click on the link in the column on the right.

Monday, June 12, 2006


There is a crack in the linoleum on my kitchen floor. Today my little "Yellow School Bus" kitty wobbled over to the crack and stopped. She stared at it so long I finally got out of my chair, walked over to the crack, bent down and examined it, too. It was a crack in the linoleum, no more, no less. Okay, I already knew she's not the smartest kitten in the house (kind of sad since she's the only kitten), but an instant after I joined her in staring at the floor, I had to wonder if perhaps she wasn't smarter than I. After all, she made me look.

Still Not Done

Got up and went in to work this morning. School is out, I'm off the clock, but the room has to be packed and cleaned. It was only a couple of hours work, and I was there for four hours -- yet I didn't get it done. I had a great chat with our custodian, Eppie. I had a great chat with Cheryl from UoP and got some options on a Master's program. I had a great chat with Jackie, the office clerk. I had a great chat with Chris, a fellow teacher, about the value of Mr. R and how much he will be missed. {Keith, if you're reading this, all your little adoptees -- of which you had plenty -- plan on running to me next year when they need help. Great parting gift -- thank you?) I had a great chat with our tech angel, Suzanne. I had a great chat with Heidi -- and I got to cuddle and burp her wee little one. So, I have to go in tomorrow, clean the frige, vacuum the floor and turn in my keys. If I keep my mouth shut it shouldn't take too long.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Quote of the week.

Eschew obfuscation.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

yippee! almost

Double-Stuff Oreo Cookies, ice cold milk, a telephone with unlimited long distance, high speed internet, and cable tv with over 600 listings to choose from ... What more could I possibly want? Oh yeah -- a remote. They didn't leave me one. (In other words, to change the channel I must sit on the floor and push the little up or down arrow. Somedays I really hate Murphy.) Oh well, just another day in my life ....

Friday, June 09, 2006

Good-bye Mr. R.

Today is the last day of school. Yesterday the children left. Today the teachers finish up and go home for the summer. Some of us, however, are not just leaving for the summer. Some of us are leaving for a new adventure -- My friend is one of those teachers heading for a new adventure. He and his wife are packing up and moving clear across the country. Of course I am excited for them and I wish them well, but I am also extremely sad. You see my friend has a very smart mouth and a quick wit. He knows and appreciates the fine art of sarcasm. He is quick to laugh and appreciates the humor underlying every disaster. I eat breakfast and lunch with him almost daily, and while we eat we share the stresses and joys of teaching. I can't imagine next year without him. Aside from appreciating my friend socially, he is also a great teacher and the perfect colleage. He shares thoughts and ideas on teaching, he accepts suggestions, he shoulders his share of the work load and quite often volunteers to help others. He's helped me become a better math teacher. More than once he's helped me keep my perspective over one stressor or another. And he's even been my classroom clock -- since the one on my wall hasn't worked all year. He has been the perfect teaching partner. We shared some of our more tedious chores -- and occassionally our more tedious students, ("Joey, go to Mr. R's room now. I need a time out or I'm going to kill you!") And we even shared our movie collections. Now we have to share good-bye. Good-bye Mr. R. I will miss you.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Success at Last

So, it's the last week of school, my allergy prescription has run out, Doc wants to see me before he renews -- and I just don't have the time to spend a half a day in his office. Therefore, since Monday I have been walking around with a bright red nose, streaming eyes and a large box of Kleenex tissues under my arm. I also have intermittent sneezing fits, say three to five sneezes at a time. Near the end of the day yesterday -- three days into my fits and immediately following a sneezing marathon -- one of my bright little darlings looks up and asks, "Ms. do you have allergies?" Most of my remaining little darlings turn and stare at the poor little doe (who looks quite taken back at the sudden shifting of bodies in her direction) and they say, almost as a unit, "Duh!" Their leader says, "Catch a clue!" And the little doe dies of mortification on the spot. Here I have tried so hard all year long to make this classroom into a community, and finally, on the second to the last day of school, I see success. Unfortunately I have turned them into a community of wolves. They decimate their victims in packs. I am so proud.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006


The DSM-IV decribes intermittent explosive disorder as ... [the] failure to resist aggressive or violent behaviors that result in harm to others or destruction of property. Spurred by a minor incident, these acts are grossly out of proportion to the stressor. Can you say, tempertantrum? I would like to know how these adults diagnosed with intermittent explosive disorder were disciplined as children when they pitched a fit. I suspect many of them were rewarded for acting out -- they either got what they wanted, or a pacifier that made their fit worth pitching. I say this because every year in my classroom I am given the "hard-to-handle" kids, and after a few weeks they figure out their fits aren't going to sway me, and that their tempertantrums have a negative impact on their priviledges -- and suddenly they have no trouble controlling themselves at all. Now, intermittent explosive disorder may very well be real -- but I'd bet a majority of the cases could be cured with an application of self-control rather than the dispensing of medication. How long will it be before people are once again held accountable for their own actions?

Quote of the Week

People always say I live in my own little world, but that's okay. Everybody here knows me and likes me.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Dear Teacher -- part deux

Dear Ms. You meant a lot to me. You were nice to me. You were my best teacher in this school. You meant a lot to me because of my grades. I am lucky to have you as my teacher. I am lucky to even pass 5th grade. You were very mean though because this month I had to sit outside my group. I ignored that though because I care about you. I hope you have fun with your next class. You are the best teacher ever. I will always think of you. Your Friend, C.E.

Allergy Season

Allergy Season 1998: Kleenex brand tissue was my friend. I blew my nose a lot. One day after I blew one of my students raised his hand. I nodded my head at him, a signal that he could speak. He stood and said -- apologetically -- "Miss, could you please not blow your nose anymore? It's disgusting!" I gave him a half-smile, shrugged my shoulders and agreed -- also apologetically. "You're right, Jesus. It is." He beamed. So did all of his classmates. "Tell you what," I said. "I won't blow my nose anymore. We'll just let the snot run all over my face." Several seconds of unprecedented silence followed. Jesus slowly sank into his seat. "Never mind," he mumbled. Today: Allergy Season 2006: the scene replays pretty much word-for-word -- and the kid's name? You guessed it. Jesus. {I wonder if they're related?}

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Starbucks Coffee

I order. "Mocha Frappacino, venti, please. Yes, put all the unhealthy stuff on it. Oh, and I'd like a banana muffin, too!" I casually extend my arm from the window with the Starbuck's card held jauntily between my fingers. The kid at the window makes a grab for the card, misses it and the thing goes flying out of my hand and under my car. UNDER MY CAR. I am dressed up: skirt, blouse, high-heels, and my hair is just so. I open my car door and look down. No card. I step out of the car and kneel down. Still I cannot see the card. Of course the heel of my shoe has caught on the hem of my skirt. I lose my balance and topple into the car, leaving a clean spot on the driver's door. Luckily most of the grime has landed on my hands and my arms which -- thank you, God -- are wash and wear. I step back into my car, put it in gear and backup about 12 inches. I might have backed up another two or three inches, but the fellow in the bright red SUV behind me was honking his horn and yelling, "Stop! Stop!" I am not sure why. There were still three or four inches between our bumpers. Maybe he thought I didn't see him? Anyway, I get out of my car again and there is my Starbuck's card, just peeking from beneath the edge of my front bumper. I grab the card and turn to present it to the kid behind the drive-thru window. He says, "Keep it, Lady. This is on me." Darn, I think as I'm driving away. I should have ordered two muffins.

Friday, June 02, 2006

children's games

5th grade bar-b-que 142 eleven year-olds pandemonium I am looking for one child. His name is Marco. I yell loudly, "Marco!" 141 students respond, "Polo!"

hollow praise

Der Ms. You are the gradest techr on the hol worl. I will rember you alwas. You teched me verey much. I lov you. God-buy. Sinceherely, Ramona

Par for the course.

Par for the course. I have a whole list of things to do tody. I have a ton of supplies to do those things with. Last night, after making my list I put all the necessary supplies by the door where I could not forget them. I have paint pens for signing t-shirts. I have the books for the reading contest winners. I have a gallon of sunscreen to slather on 142 bar-b-quing 5th graders. I have bottled water to keep me hydrated. I have Kleenex tissue for my allergies. I am dressed nicely, but am still wash-n-wear. But more importantly, I have the removeable floppy disc drive so I can put the report I created at home last night on my work computer and send it via the school network to my Principal. BUT I DO NOT HAVE THE DISC (which naturally translates into, I do not have the report). Who took it out of the drive? And why? It had to have been one of the cats. Just a typical moment in my life ....

Thursday, June 01, 2006

My own blog

Today I decided I would start my own blog. All week long while thinking about this I had a dozen or so witty things to say. Now here I am and my mind is blank. Blank. Blank. Blank. Sigh. These are the things that make up the typical days in my life.


Just got here. Don't know what I'm doing yet. Btw, that'a not an unusal state for me.