Tuesday, December 12, 2006

The Administrative Assistant

Pansy Petite stops nervously beside my desk and eyes a precarious stack of papers. "Ms. A.," she says primly, "Would you like me to clean your desk?" "Not really," I answer. "I know it looks messy, but I actually know where everything is." She stares at me skeptically for a long moment, then asks. "May I please borrow the special white eraser?" I open my desk drawer and rifle through it. No eraser. I look up at Pansy. "I'm sorry, Sweetie. Somebody must already have it." She nods her head, reaches out and plucks the white eraser from the chaos of my desk. Holding it up for me to see, she chides, "Are you sure I can't clean your desk? I promise I would keep it very well orgnized." "Yes, Dear," I answered. "I am certain you would, and I find that thought very, very scary." "Suit yourself," she answered while walking away, "But I'm sure my way would be easier." Mmmmm --- for whom?

17 Comments:

Blogger Al said...

~ cue creepy theremin music ~

"Oh, she'll be back -- with her blank white eyes and soulless stare. She'll clean up your desk alright, and she'll suck your brain out of your ear.

"In a world where the children rule, holding the grown-ups hostage..."

Oh, Jerry, Jerry Bruckheimer?

12/12/2006 07:10:00 AM  
Blogger QuillDancer said...

Al -- I am reasonably certain Pansy is 35 years old. Every morning she greets me with the same line: "Good-morning, Ms. A. Is there anything important I need to know about today?" It is rather creepy to those of us who remember the first Stepford movie. However, she is exceedingly ticklish, she giggles like a ten year old girl, and her classmates love her, so she's probably not as scary as she appears.

12/12/2006 07:26:00 AM  
Blogger Al said...

Quilly, shhhh -- Can't you see I'm pitching a movie here?

(Thanks for clarifying. :-)

12/12/2006 07:31:00 AM  
Blogger Lori's Minute said...

I oersonally believe people like that spend way too much time organizing and not enough time playing and having fun.

Although, the other day hubby and daughter spent three hours looking for something if they would have asked me I knew right where it was (under a pile of papers). So, you are either spending your time organizing or spending it finding stuff....

12/12/2006 07:53:00 AM  
Blogger O Ceallaigh said...

ORGANIZATION, n. When the church doesn't have to settle for a piano.

nyuk nyuk

12/12/2006 08:00:00 AM  
Blogger QuillDancer said...

Lori -- six of one, half a dozen of the other

OC -- I find myself wondering what it was about your humor that first attracted me .... :p

12/12/2006 08:16:00 AM  
Blogger Betty said...

I think her concern for your desk may have a fear of her work being lost.

12/12/2006 08:35:00 AM  
Blogger QuillDancer said...

Betty, remarkably, I seldom lose student papers. However, I frequently lose things the principal gives me. I wonder why that would be?.

12/12/2006 09:38:00 AM  
Blogger Doug said...

It would make the eraser's life much more difficult.

12/12/2006 09:59:00 AM  
Blogger QuillDancer said...

Doug -- that fancy white eraser which leaves their paper looking clean and new is pretty popular. It probably hides in the mess on purpose.

12/12/2006 10:32:00 AM  
Blogger The Old Fart said...

Sounds like the Felix-Oscar syndrome. The child wouldn't know where to begin here, my place looks like a hurricane swept through.

12/12/2006 10:32:00 AM  
Blogger QuillDancer said...

Bill -- mine is just paper. It cleans up in a matter of moments. If I'd just do my grading everyday, I wouldn't have this problem.

12/12/2006 10:35:00 AM  
Blogger goldennib said...

Children can be so sweet and helpful.

12/12/2006 01:03:00 PM  
Blogger charlie said...

Tidy desk, untidy mind - that's what I say QD :o)))

12/12/2006 01:46:00 PM  
Blogger QuillDancer said...

Nessa -- and some can be overbearing and obnoxious. Luckily, Pansy isn't one of them.

Charlie -- uhm, these days my thoughts often seem to be scattered as well.

12/12/2006 09:32:00 PM  
Blogger somewhere joe said...

Hmmm... just what does this "special white eraser" erase? I think I might want one.

12/14/2006 06:17:00 AM  
Blogger QuillDancer said...

Joe -- the mistakes of 10 year olds erase much more easily than the mistakes of adults.

12/14/2006 12:25:00 PM  

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